Where I whine about naps (or lack thereof)

Please stop, child.  Please.  I beg you to stop with the fussing and the whining and the crying. Please cool it with the kicking and the thrashing of your head and the spitting out of the paci.  You just ate and I changed your diaper.  It has been 2 hours and 25 minutes since you woke up from your last nap.  The second of the day.  The second time today that you closed your eyes for exactly 30 minutes.  You don’t want to be entertained, you don’t want to be cuddled.  You don’t want to be in your swing or your jumperoo. 

So, you know what?  You NEED TO NAP.  You need to close your eyes, breathe deeply and drift off to sleep.  I know that you think 30 minutes every three hours is enough sleep, but as your mother, I beg to disagree.  It leaves my happy, content, easy to please baby grumpy and whiney and tired 45 minutes later. 

Napping is good for you.  I’m sure there’s a book on all the reasons, but just trust me.  It’s good for you. 

And it’s good for me.  I need you to nap.  It is 12:53PM and I have not showered, I ate a bowl of cereal five hours ago, and I’m not entirely sure that I brushed my teeth.  I have work to do, laundry to fold and bills to take to the mailbox.  These things are challenging, if not impossible, to do while you are attached to my hip or when you whine the second I leave the room.  So I’m sorry, but I need you to nap. I need a break from the constant demands of work and I think that’s supposed to happen on the weekend; but not if you don’t nap. Especially when your daddy is working. 

So, please, for the love of bottles, stuffed animals and loud obnoxious toys that make you squeal with delight.  Please nap. 

If bribery is more your thing, I will buy you a car when you turn 16 if you nap. 

PS.  And, because I’m feeling extra needy today, if you are reading this and have tips for getting a baby to nap regularly, for more than 30 minutes, in a pack ‘n play or crib, please tell me how you do it.  If it works, I will buy you a car too.* 

*Totally lying, but you will have my undying gratitude. 


5 Responses

  1. Thanks, ladies. Glad to hear that it’s not just me. I want this well documented so that when she is 29 and complaining about wanting to take a nap and not being able to, I can remind her of the time she was 5 months and drove me crazy for refusing to sleep.

  2. Oh my gosh! I want to print this and wear it on my shirt…
    I could read it over and over all day long and giggle and then sigh….
    my little 8 month old won’t stop sitting up in the crib. He is soooo tired but once he sits up he doesn’t know how to lay back down and starts screaming. This goes on and on and on and then no nap. He will fall asleep in the car seat when we go for a ride but we’re not going to start doing that.
    I’m deathly afraid of day care tomorrow….what will our day care provider do when he sits up ALL day long and never naps. I hope she still takes our business after tomorrow!
    I feel you’re terrible terrible pain!

  3. Hang in there, my daughter when she was younger would only nap for 30 minutes at a time. It isn’t enough time to get anything done, give yourself a break.
    What I used to do and still do (although not with a exersaucer) is bring an exersaucer or jumperoo into where the bathroom is or just outside the door. Or a Pack n play – I have one in my bedroom where my daughter plays while I shower. Load it with toys and books and that might just get you a shower:) Sleep – it may get better, it may be a phase.

  4. I am forwarding this post to my sister…new mommy who is lacking in the sleep department! Great post for her – to know she is not alone!

  5. Hang in there momma! When Ryann gets like that I do one of two things. 1) lay with her on my bed until she sleeps and tiptoe away or 2) wear her in the moby or ergo.

    I was parenting solo for the first few months while JPW was traveling with work and the moby saved my sanity…and I showered while she hung out in the bouncy in the bathroom.

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