About Me

You know that woman who always has her shit together?  The one that effortlessly pulls together a stylish look in 20 minutes, has time to hit the gym, laughs on her cell phone as she waltzes into the office?  The mom who dresses her kid in the cutest outfits, takes the best pictures and provides a hot meal and a clean house for her husband. 

I am not her. 

I’m the chick who is pulling into the office five minutes late – on a good day.  The one that runs off the road trying to text and drive, doesn’t have time to shop, and… clean… What’s that?!?!  I’m the mom who calls her mother-in-law to see if she can stay with the baby an extra hour because happy hour is calling or you know, she could just take the baby with her.  Yeah, I’m that mom.


I rocked Craig’s socks as a girlfriend.  For real.  If they gave out Girlfriend of the Year awards, I would have won it in so many categories.  I cooked dinners.  I did laundry.  I bought awesome, thoughtful and expensive gifts.  I loved to travel (although I was never a good passenger, I have a sad tendency to sleep in moving vehicles.) I was happy to stay at home and watch movies or get dressed up and go out.  I bought birthday cards for my friends and family and his. 

We never fought (we still don’t, really).  I was understanding of the time he put in at his job, supportive of his goals and didn’t bitch when he occasionally went out with the boys.  I didn’t pressure him to marry me… MUCH. 

Maybe that’s why it took the man 65 months to propose.  There must have been some voice in his head that said, “Buddy, it’s all downhill from here.” 

Finally, after six LONG years of dating, we got hitched in July of 2008.  We ditched the birth control after the honeymoon and started working on filling the bedrooms of our new house.  In January of 2009, we found out we were expecting our first baby. 

And now it’s becoming painfully clear that I was a much better girlfriend than I am wife.  I still do laundry, but sometimes it sits in the dryer for days before it gets folded and put away.  Dinner is more often pizza or take out than it is something home cooked.  And now that there’s a baby, there’s a good chance that at 4:00 on a weekend, I still haven’t showered. 

Feel bad for him, folks.  He needs your sympathy.

Other RANDOM things you probably don’t care about: 

I love to shop.  I can argue both sides of a coin.  I believe that there is no problem that can’t be solved over drinks with a good friend.  I overshare because that’s how I process.  I always pick the wrong checkout line at the grocery store.  I love to take pictures, but I’m not very good at it.  I love to cook when I can find the time.  I’m in my glory when my house is full of people but happiest when they go home and it’s just me, my husband and my kid.  I spend too much time on the internet.

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